Surrender
Today I will share a couple of my recent journal entries with you…
July 11: So I went into today pretty much being terrified. Last night, I found out I was going to the Hope House, a sort of hospice type place, and I imagined it to be an awful place where everyone just goes to wither and die. I mentally prepared myself for a trying day and we were off. We got there and Sister Elsa, a small Indian woman, showed us around the grounds. There are about 20 little houses, each containing one patient and one “minder”. Each house is basically like a studio apartment, complete with little kitchen, bathroom, and living area. We were left off by Elsa at the house of Mandla, a man of almost 40 years who seems to be suffering from some sort of wasting disease, most likely AIDS or a result of it. Though he is very tall, he weighs less than I do. His legs are probably about the size of my arms (just to give you some idea). He’d been there for three months and speaks only a little English. Despite his long stay there, his spirits were high. After talking to him for a while, Jesse (fearless leader #3) asked if he knew how to play Casino (a popular card game here), so Mandla and Titi (our translator) taught us how to play. We spent the rest of our time there playing cards and talking to him. It was great. That afternoon, we went to visit another man that Sister Elsa suggested we visit. His name is Tabo. He’s suffering from TB and meningitis and has been at the Hope House for three weeks now. He also was in pretty good spirits and he also knows how to play a mean game of Casino. So we spent the afternoon playing cards with him as well. Also awesome. It was great to see how God made something that I was so scared of into such a great experience and a day that was filled with him.
July 14: In Mark 14/Luke 22, Jesus is seen surrendering his will to God. Jesus, King of Kings, Lord of Lords is surrendering his life to God his Father. If Jesus should be surrendering his life, shouldn’t we also be willing to do this? But yet I find it so hard to even surrender one or two things or just part of myself to God and His will, let alone my whole self. I was also reading about Rahab and thinking about her life and how it related to this concept of surrender that God is trying to teach me. I was a little blown away by what I found. Rahab a woman who had never been poured into by Christians, who didn’t grow up in a Christian home, who didn’t own a Bible, who had never been to church, who had never even met another believer before, found it so easy to surrender not only her reputation, but her whole life to help the spies out and follow God, a god who she knew nothing about. Yet I, who have had the advantage of all these things, still find it so hard to surrender my will to God’s. Even after all that I have seen God do , I am still reluctant to give myself to Him fully. I’m so trusting of the people who surround me to provide for me, yet the very one who breathed life into me and all that I am doesn’t always get my full trust. There’s something very wrong with that picture. The Bible says to deny myself and take up my cross daily and follow God (Luke 9:23). Why is that so hard?
So this is the last blog that I will write before I get home. Please continue to pray for our team as we only have one week left of ministry and one week of travelling. It’s going fast. I love you all! See ya in two weeks!
