I came into this trip nervous about making friends and being close to anoyone. I prayed God would just give me at least one or two people that I would really connect with. The first week at raining camp was amazing and he did give me those few friendships. It was definitely uncomfortable at first and I was still my quiet self but it was what I needed. As I went through the first week God started to work through me and started to break down the walls I had up. (I still wasn’t fully open and I was quiet but He was just starting to change me.) The the end of the week came and we left for Swaziland.
The first week here was hard, having to adjust and not doing a lot of ministry at first. Satan definitely used that as a weapon and I many times would be by myself and be a loner. The first weekend we were here on Sunday night we had a time of worship, it was amazing and I just really felt God calling me to share my timeline/testimony with my team. We were all going to share but I would be the first one. The first one to be vulnerable with the whole team. To share my struggles, my hurts and pains. The whoule tiem before I shared Satan was feeding me thoughts of why are you doing this, they won’t understand, they will reject you. It was a hard struggle. It would have been so much easier to stay a loner and closed off right? No God was calling me to bigger things and for that to happen I had to share my life. So I shared and afterwards I felt so free and my team still loved me! Since then I haven’t been a loner. I haven’t been closed off. God has set me free from my past struggles so I can do his work! Instead of having two or three friends when I go home I’m going to have twenty! God has given me the freedom to be open with my team and be who He’s called me to be. He’s changed my life. Showed me I have a voice and he wants me to share that. Had I never been open and vulnerable I probably would still be in my shell with all my walls up. But God is good and has set me free!
“For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.”
Galations 5:13
